Jesus’ triumphant return to Earth hit a snag during a press conference, when he announced he had come January 10th, as planned, to bring his flock hope and comfort. When it was called to his attention that it was only January 9th, he appeared unperturbed. “That’s all right,” he said, the consummate professional. “I’ll come back.”

“No,” called out a follower. “You’re here now, no point in leaving.”

“Right,” agreed another. “It’s all good.”

Others were not so accommodating. “How does the Son of God make such a mistake?” asked a member of the press.

“I’m only human,” said Jesus, then quickly, “Let me rephrase that. I was born as a human, and sometimes the human part takes over.”

“Like Spock from Star Trek,” said a helpful well-wisher.

“Yes, like Spock,” said Jesus, beaming at the man’s understanding of his situation and glossing over the unfortunate and unintended reference to Vulcan, blacksmith of the Roman gods.

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