Step 1) Freak out. Frantically scan the news for signs that everybody is playing a big practical joke and you will not all die at midnight.

Step 2) Have the complete inability to do any of the things you’ve always wanted to do before you die, because you are too freaked out that it is your last day.

Step 3) Scream at the Almighty. Make deals with (choose one) him/her/them. Swear at (choose one) him/her/them. Ultimately break down into a heap of rage, fear, pain, and sorrow.

Step 4) Barricade your home against the hoards of rioters that are sure to emerge. Better yet, be one of the rioters, and smash and grab all the things you’ve ever wanted.

Step 5) Be unable to enjoy the things you’ve smashed and grabbed, not only because you are still too freaked out that it is your last day, but also because you’re really pissed at that lady who looted the last Chloe Paddington handbag and left you with nothing but a cheap Coach replica.

Step 6) Stare at your watch with horror as the seconds count down towards midnight. Cower in fear at the imminent explosion, implosion, natural disaster, or whatever it is that is going to kill you.

Step 7) Slowly realize that you have survived into the next day. Understand that you are not going to die yet. Babble incoherently with relief.

Step 8) Repeat steps 1 through 7

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