A loyal reader challenged me to find fourteen ways to use tomato sauce. Here you go. Bon Appétit!
- Paint the wall with it
- Soak your toes in it
- Use it to touch up your zombie costume
- Count it as three of your vegetable servings for the day
- Use it to mark your trail in the woods when your evil stepmother kicks you out of the house
- Guzzle it for no apparent reason
- Invent a new religion and use it in place of holy water
- Frost a cake with it
- Put it on spaghetti (sometimes the obvious answer is the right one)
- Look in it to predict your future
- Fill balloons with it and play catch
- Look at it under a microscope
- Look at it through a telescope
- Ship it to Mars (Not all of it. Too expensive.)