Why You Get Hiccups

Uncle Louis: Go to sleep, kid.

Dustin: You said you’d tell me the story of why I get hiccups.

Uncle Louis: I did say that, didn’t I? I need to learn how to shut up.

Dustin: Come on.

Uncle Louis: Alright, alright. If you can talk without whining, I’ll tell you the story.

Dustin: Okay, I’m not whining.

Uncle Louis: Okay then. Back in the stone age, it was really nice for while, and then Bam! The ice age hit.

Dustin: Which ice age?

Uncle Louis: What’s it matter? They’re all cold. Pick one. Anyway, the only animal left for people to eat was called a Hiccup. And why do you think it was called that?

Dustin: Because it had the hiccups?

Uncle Louis: aaaaaa. Wrong

Dustin: What’s “aaaaaa?”

Uncle Louis: It’s a buzzer noise. Forget it. What I’m saying is that the Hiccup didn’t have hiccups, but it made a noise like a hiccup. And it was so fast and so good at hiding, that the only way people could catch it was to make a hiccup noise to attract them. So the only people that got food to eat were ones that hiccupped. So they were the only ones who survived.

Dustin: What’s a Hiccup look like?

Uncle Louis: Nobody knows. They’re all dead.

Dustin: All of them?

Uncle Louis: Jeeze, kid, don’t take it so hard. Okay, maybe they aren’t all dead. Maybe there are some left in Bolivia or something.

Dustin: Let’s go find them.

Uncle Louis: Why, you wanna eat one? Just kidding.

Dustin: But why’s it so hard to stop hiccupping?

Uncle Louis: I said I’d tell you the story of why you get hiccups. Not why you can’t stop. Okay, don’t look at me like that. You can’t stop because one of the Hiccups put a curse on people, to remind us how cruel we were eating all his family. The end.

Dustin: I have a curse on me?

Uncle Louis: Don’t take it so personal. We’re all cursed. No big deal. Go to sleep.