A loyal reader challenged me to find fourteen ways to use tomato sauce. Here you go. Bon Appétit!

  1. Paint the wall with it
  2. Soak your toes in it
  3. Use it to touch up your zombie costume
  4. Count it as three of your vegetable servings for the day
  5. Use it to mark your trail in the woods when your evil stepmother kicks you out of the house
  6. Guzzle it for no apparent reason
  7. Invent a new religion and use it in place of holy water
  8. Frost a cake with it
  9. Put it on spaghetti (sometimes the obvious answer is the right one)
  10. Look in it to predict your future
  11. Fill balloons with it and play catch
  12. Look at it under a microscope
  13. Look at it through a telescope
  14. Ship it to Mars (Not all of it. Too expensive.)
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