Human beings may have evolved from sponges. As time passes and the Earth gets wetter, we will evolve again. This time, in reverse, becoming sponges. But not your grandfather’s sponge. No, this time, as sponges, we will remain self-aware, in a minimized way. Not because it is necessary to our survival, but because self-awareness will randomly occupy other important sponge genes. We will also—randomly—be goldenseal yellow.

In our self-awareness, we will be self-congratulatory that we have survived, though we won’t remember exactly what we survived. We will pray to a god who is also a sponge, who is much larger than we are and lives at the center of the aquasphere.

Later, we will evolve further, our shapes varying from ordinary sponge shapes (blobs, tubes, and fans) into weird, fantastical shapes with extensions like curly fries. We will travel slowly, as sponges do, to find the ultimate water current. Though we will never find it, we will always be searching.

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