I’m trying to find my center. It’s in the middle here somewhere. Not the stomach, that’s too high, but somewhere around the intestines. Probably a lower intestine. That’s where the water gets absorbed, I remember that from an anatomy class of some kind. The things you remember while you’re trying to get spiritual.

You’d think the belly button would be the center. Like the hose of the universe would connect with you there. But belly buttons are kind of ridiculous. People joke about belly button lint, and it’s not a very spiritual name. In English, anyway.

Anyway, I’m looking to feel the love of the universe. So I have to concentrate on not concentrating.

But I’m not so sure that’s a good thing. Maybe I shouldn’t be not concentrating. I mean, wasn’t that what the teachers always told me? That I wasn’t concentrating? Then why is not concentrating suddenly such a good thing?

See, the thing is, I’m not sure it’s the best idea for me to be so self-absorbed. There must be something better I can do with my time than to reach nirvana. I know that must sound strange. Everybody wants to reach (finger quotes here) nirvana. But they don’t know what it is. It just sounds good. Just because somebody else says it’s a good thing, what do they know? Have they been there? No! But I notice they do spend a lot of time trying to get there.

I’m hungry. Did I finish off those Oreos? Oh, yeah, I did. They’re in my center.

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