Dear Amy,
People seem to have forgotten about the end of the world except here in Breakneck, Washington. We’re still going through it. Are we ever! Can you believe zombies took over the city council meeting? They marched into the Spend n’ Save where we hold meetings now (we lost the City Hall to a sinkhole), and one of them stood at the podium and howled into the microphone. I tell you, that microphone sometimes doesn’t work very well but it sure did this time. My ears are still ringing.

The rest of the zombies wandered up and down the aisles, dropping limbs and leaving slimy gunk on everything they touched. When they wouldn’t go near the Nerf ball display we figured out they were afraid of them, so we got rid of them by throwing Nerf balls at them until they all stumbled out the back door and into the rift in the earth. Then we stood around for a while and reminisced about the day the rift opened up and how we thought that was the only end-of-the-world thing that was going to go wrong in Breakneck.

We were especially surprised about the zombies because up until now everything that has gone wrong are things from the Bible. Alva insisted that there are zombies in the Bible and that it’s really a matter of interpretation. But that doesn’t help us plan for the worst, because if you can interpret things so broadly then I guess anything can happen next. Guess we’ll see soon enough!

The Mayans were Right Part I, Part II, Part III

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