They say pet owners resemble their pets, especially as time progresses. For the most part, Laura did not resemble her Amazon parrot, her iguana, or her goldfish, which she’d owned for ten years, three years, and two months, respectively.

The iguana sometimes closed one eye, leaving the other open. It did this deliberately to shut out the parrot, which it didn’t like. One of Laura’s eyes was often slightly more open than the other, as if she sucked a tart lemon candy on one side of her mouth. But that was the only similarity.

If the saying was true, Laura’s neighbor Sebastian would have to own a wooly mammoth. Another neighbor would have to own a praying mantis, and another a female salmon in its death throes.

In Laura’s neighborhood at least, the goldfish bowl held water, but the saying didn’t.

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