I used to smell lilacs and think of a beautiful spring day.

Then I bought lilac-scented deodorant.

Now I associate the smell of lilacs with my underarms.

It’s sad.

But it could be worse.

I could have bought Axe deodorant.

Women would be knocking me down to get close to me.

I don’t like being knocked down.

And I’m kinda more into guys.

So I keep wearing lilac deodorant.

But I won’t buy the newly mown lawn deodorant.

Some things are sacred.

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