Dear Amy,
Here’s an update on the end of the world in Breakneck, WA. It’s been kind of a long process. When I first heard the predictions, I thought the End of the World would happen all at once, but the volcano and pit to Hell lasted weeks. Then, would you believe it, a tsunami filled in the pit to hell and made the volcano go dormant. Of course, our house flooded, but we were running out of aloe vera lotion and Band-Aids for burns, so it was good timing. We’re living on the second floor until we get the muck shoveled out.

The positive: fresh crab and fish for dinner! Though now the fish are rotting on what used to be the lawn and prize rhododendrons and it’s pretty darn stinky. John says they make good fertilizer, but with the world ending (at least here in Breakneck), it’s not like we’re going to plant anything.

Anyway, we cancelled our vacation plans for Hawaii, since we’ve had just about enough of anything to do with volcanoes, even dormant ones.

Oh yes, the guy with the hood and sickle had the wrong house. Odd, though, he said he would be back. Why would he come back when he was in the wrong place? Just goes to show you how confused people are around here these days.

Tomorrow should be interesting, they’re predicting rain, but not just any rain. A rain of frogs, snakes, blood, or maybe something else entirely! Never a dull moment.

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